Forcing New Siblings Can Backfire
Starting a new family for many is one of the most life changing experiences. But not everyone is going to be a happy camper. For many children it could be an unpleasant experience. Sharing their lives with a half sibling or step sibling may make them cringe. So how do you bridge the gap? Sometimes you can’t and that isn’t your fault. Constantly trying to push the children together may only result in one sibling hating the other one. Praising one child to show how great they can be may only make the other children hate them. Often times it’s best to allow a child to make up their own mind on how they feel about their new siblings.
For siblings that don’t live together, it’s okay if they don’t like each other. You can’t expect a child who has lived mostly as an only child to start being brotherly or sisterly. No matter how great you’d think siblings should get along, the child should have some say. If their step or half siblings are visiting, allow them to do their own activities. Don’t force them to visit; it’ll only cause anger and tension. It can be frustrating, but if a child doesn’t like their new sibling, that’s how they feel. Pushing may only result in hate and that hate for the siblings may never go away.
Sadly sometimes a new distant sibling doesn’t get the message that they aren’t liked. When explaining this, be gentle. They may not understand why they are hated. If the sibling tries to continue approaching, trying to be close…it may result in a big blow up in the siblings face. Some signs a sibling doesn’t like you are : Cross arms, minimum eye contact and annoyed that you are trying to talk to them.
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