Sell YOU With Your Small Talk. (Yes You Can.)
Want to build a relationship -- sell yourself for a job -- get ahead -- make a sale?
Your ´small talk´ is crucial.
Everyday conversation can make or break you in personal relationships and in the business world. Sadly, most people don´t realize how important small talk is, nor do they try to do better.
That´s a shame, because anyone can easily develop great small talk skills.
Just how important is small talk?
A Stanford University School of Business study showed its impact on business success. It tracked MBA´s 10 years after graduation, and found grade point averages had no bearing on their success -- but conversation did. Most successful were those who could make conversation with anyone -- from strangers, to secretaries, to bosses to customers.
Small talk impacts your success in ´personal´ relationships because it can shape how others see you in terms of intelligence and confidence. People tend to see good conversationalists as more intelligent and confident.
Other research -- to find the characteristics of the ideal person -- has shown confidence and intelligence are the most important factors for about 60% of respondents.
Despite the importance of small talk, most people don´t do it well. Shyness is one reason. Others range from not knowing how to start a conversation to not having anything to say.
But all it really takes to be good at small talk is a simple strategy.
THINK AHEAD
You will never have a conversation in a vacuum. It will always have its own context and environment. Think ahead about conversations you are likely to have -- even those casual encounters that may happen because of where you will be on a given day.
HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY
Make sure you have ´something to say.´ Do a little research. Read the newspapers. Find interesting things to talk about -- serious or humorous -- on the subjects that come up in everyday conversation - careers, sports, the weather, money, kids, politics, etc.
ASK QUESTIONS
This is critical. A conversation takes two and questions help BOTH you and the other party. Ask someone a question, and you get them ´engaged.´
LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND
This strategy step requires you to, not only listen to how others answer questions, but to ´understand´ and adapt.
ADAPT
Let´s assume you are a salesperson and, when you enter the new prospect´s office, you alertly notice a picture of him standing in front of a sign saying ´Michigan State University.´ You say, ´Oh, I see you went to Michigan State.´ The prospect replies, ´Yeah, I went there on a football scholarship.´
And you reply, ´Oh, I went to Boston University, myself. What was your major?´
Wrong follow-up question! The prospect ´volunteered´ information important to him (football scholarship). You should have ´adapted´ . . . following up with something like, ´Oh, what position did you play?´ This could lead to a whole series of questions, increasingly ´engaging´ the prospect.
When you successfully apply this simple strategy, you create ´rapport´ - a feeling of trust and liking. This can cause others to think of you in positive ways:
´Personal´ friends or personal friends-to-be:
´This is an interesting, entertaining and witty person -- the kind of person I like to have around me.´
Employers or potential employers:
´This is a person who would fit in here -- a person who can relate well and get along well with others.´
Customers:
´I´m comfortable with this person. This is the kind of person I´d like to do business with.´
Clearly, small talk is crucial to you. You owe it to YOU to do it well.
More articles:
|
