Anatomy of an Online Marketing Failure
Wife: "I?m getting sick of these harrassing bill collectors who call me all hours of the night and day."
Husband: "I know Sweetheart. I?m going to turn things around financially for us. Bill, down at the office, says that there?s lots of money to be made on the Internet. I think I?ll go to him for some advice and see if this is something I can do."
Wife: "Well something has got to change. The mortgage company said that if we were late one more time with our payment that our credit was going to be ruined."
Husband: "Don?t worry. I?ll figure something out."
**Next Evening At Dinner**
Husband: "Well Bill says that on the Internet that there are companies who will pay you cold hard cash just for reading their email and that it?s as easy as pie to get going and to start making some big bucks pretty fast."
Wife: "Get paid to read email? Sounds like a scam to me!"
Husband: "Trust me this can really work. He told me the website to go and join up at. Can?t wait to get started!"
Wife: "Alright I guess you have nothing to lose by trying. And wouldn?t it be great if they really did pay out in hard cold cash?"
**Four Weeks Later**
Wife: "The mortgage company called again. How?s your paid to read email business coming along? We really need to catch up on some things. Where?s the cold hard cash we need right now?"
Husband: "The good news is that my first check is in the mail!"
Wife: "Great! And the bad...?"
Husband: "The check is for $5.68."
Wife: "What? Holy Cow! You?ve been reading hundreds of emails for almost a month! How much do you get paid for each email?"
Husband: "For most of them I get a penny."
Wife: "#$$%%^^@#!!!"
Husband: "Don?t worry, honey. One of the emails I read talked about making big money in online network marketing. This company that I just joined last night has a great plan where you get residual money just for signing up people."
Wife: "MLM? For crying out loud!"
Husband: "Just give me some time to fill out my 7x7 matrix and then we?ll be sitting pretty. I saw where one guy just won a trip to Europe! Wouldn?t that be nice?"
Wife: "This better work this time or else..."
Husband: "Don?t worry, honey. Just give it time."
**Four Weeks Later**
Husband: "Great news! I?ve got over 100 people in my power line and now I qualify for a commission check that should be here shortly."
Wife: "Finally! On 100 people how big will your check be?"
Husband: "Well only 3 people actually bought any products so my first check should be $38 and some change."
Wife: "But you spent $49 to get into this darned thing!"
Husband: "Don?t worry honey. I?m branching out so that we can get multiple streams of income. I heard that Big Online Bookstore has an affiliate program where you just send people to their site and if they buy anything you automatically get commissions!"
Wife: "I?m warning you! Something has to change here. I?m getting sick of this I tell you."
Husband: "Don?t worry. With the MLM and affiliate program I?m sure things will turn around."
**Three Months Later**
Wife: "You received a check in the mail today from Big Online Bookstore. Open it so we can go cash it. Finally your hard work is paying off. How many people did you say you sent that bought books?"
Husband: "The last 3 months I?ve sent people to their site who?ve purchased over $1000 worth of books! Let?s rip this baby open and head to the bank!"
Wife: "What?s wrong, honey? How much is the check for?"
Husband: "$69.15."
Wife: "I?m going to STTRRAAAAANNNGGLLEE you!"
Copyright 2004 John Taylor
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